So today, in a reminder that I am responsible for fighting for my own freedom too, I decided to publish a poem I wrote in October of 2021 after finally getting out of an abusive situation. Originally titled "Fool's Gold", I renamed it when I realized the heart of the poem was fighting for one's personal freedom. Whether it be untangling yourself from the trappings of a life you don't want, extraction from a horrible situation, freeing yourself from the clutches of what society claims you "must have" to live a worthy life, or surviving a time when personal freedoms are no longer a given, this poem is really about the perseverance of the human spirit. When you need to summon your courage my loves, I hope you find the strength to fly. Sharing this poem is my gift to you. Happy Independence Day. xoxo Tink When you smiled at me I felt the light curl up under my toes And make gravity a little less As though I could float away Drunk on the power of a single glance And like any addict Needing her fix I spent the best part of me On anything, on everything That might Maybe Possibly Cause one more curl of the lips in an upward movement And your gaze to soften Like it did the first time you looked at me But alas That initial smile was like a loss liter sale Promising diamonds And delivering fools gold And I Too blinded by the glitz and glitter The likes of which I had never experienced before Bought the whole package At a cost of more than I could afford to spare Frantically I searched for the exit But at every turn you blocked my efforts With a half smile A partial compliment “Love is here” you taunted me “But if you leave too early You’ll never find it” Now a good salesman knows how To keep the client on the ropes Dizzy with anticipation Pining after that which is promised No clocks, so they don’t know how long they’ve spent Browsing and hoping that the next find is the real deal Pumping the music a little higher And the heart will beat fast ..in fear? Love? Are they the same? Distracted I missed the fine print The one that said “If you stay, the rollercoaster will never end. If you leave, you forfeit all you have” However even the best of salesmen Can’t keep the pitch fresh forever One day you slipped And all that glittered Shattered into the cheap glass it was… I woke up to find myself locked Not in a store, but a prison A mirage of illusions barring every escape route But one Up So I climbed Faster and frantically Practically feeling your hands clawing at my feet As you screamed “It’s not closing time yet. You’ll leave when I say the deal is done.” Now half running Half crawling I pushed myself up Flight after flight of stairs To the one doorway you forgot to block The roof Busting into daylight I suddenly found myself at the edge I looked back to find You Calmly Walking towards me That first smile on your face A thousand promises on your lips And your hand outstretched “It’s here” you whispered Snake oil oozed off every step “You know what’s here…but out there, nothing is sure” You stepped closer Hand outstretched I stepped backwards teetering on the edge “It will be different this time…” But the words you spoke were empty They breathed stale in the brightness of an open sky “I don’t want to see you fall” I turned my head Gazed at what I now knew to be the first rays of a sun Shining hopefully on the still sleeping city. “You won’t,” I whispered. “I intend to fly” And then…I jumped… Have something to say? Feel free to comment below. Want to support Tink's writings? Click the Cashapp link here to become a patron of her work!
1 Comment
Catherine
7/13/2023 09:55:56 am
Ooooh very cool, especially the ending!
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AuthorTink, world traveler, positivity muse, and adult entertainer, has also freelance written for a number of companies as their ghostwriter. Now talking directly to YOU on this platform, she is also writing two books at her community's request. Archives
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