And the next day, she passed near his shop just as he was outside about to take a cigarette break. He really needed to stop smoking. But it helped him take a break.
She had paused across the street to talk to a friend. He stood there trying not to appear like he was watching her. Cause that was crazy. Stalker like, right? But he wasn't one. He was just a guy who like a girl. And maybe she would look up. He hoped so.
And then…she looked up. Her face lit up. He just stood there with this goofy on his face, looking at her, grinning at him.
She said goodbye to her friend. Walked straight across the street as he held the unlit cigarette. Looked him dead in the eye and said:
“Don’t light that yet.”
It was like time slowed down. Only it sped up too. And then.. Miracle of miracles. She stepped closer. And kissed him.
Right there. On the sidewalk. Under a beautiful sky on the most wonderful day on earth. SHE kissed HIM. And then laughing said, “You can light that now.”
He was floored. It took him two tries to light the damn cigarette. He had never expected such a thing to happen. But it did. And she was there. And she was real and they talked more than they had ever talked before.
They made plans. For THAT night. She came back. He wasn’t sure she would, but suddenly she was there.
And they walked to her place after first pausing to view the sunset from the rooftop of a garage. Like something from a movie, they spent this incredible night together talking, laughing, snuggling, and of course, having so much sex that he finally said the words no man ever thought he would say:
“I have to tap out. I’m exhausted.”
And she laughed and they hugged and he was so so happy. He told her about his past relationships and how he wasn’t promiscuous. He spoke of plans of things they would do this winter - snowboarding and movie nights. He shared his vision for his business. And she ACTUALLY listened to everything he said.
It felt like a dream. But as he got dressed to leave, he wondered if this was it. And he said “I’ll see you tomorrow right?”
THIS GIRL, this girl he had wanted for so long, got up from the bed where she had been sitting, kissed him and promised that they WOULD INDEED see each other tomorrow. So he kissed her again and again and again until she started giggling and practically pushed him out the door exclaiming “if you don’t leave now, I’ll simply keep you here.”
He smiled; he was so happy. It sounds silly to keep saying it. But happy is exactly the right word for it.
The next day, she surprised him again. She showed up to his shop and hugged him. He kissed her right there in the open shop not caring who saw. And she said SHE was happy, and understood that he wasn’t a booty call. She literally giggled right there when she said those words "not a booty call". And he told her he loved her laugh.
She blushed and then in a rush said that she was open to seeing what might happen, IF anything. No expectations. And again he was happy and kissed her once, twice, three times in a row.
“Things get busy with the shop,’ he told her ‘but I want this. I want to make time for you in my life.”
She smiled and laughed and told him she had to get up courage to even come see him today. And he marveled at the thought that THIS GIRL had to get up courage to talk to him?
He stood up straight and felt six feet tall, although he wasn’t. Not even close. Ah well, she didn’t seem to mind.
Later that night, she passed by on her way to a dance class. He was so so awed that she was there. Was this real?
He found himself saying “I love that” to everything she said. And they made plans for later that evening. On her way home she passed by again, not intentionally, but it was on the way. And he popped out and told her how happy he was to see her in an hour and half.
She left him in the light of the doorway of his shop. A smile on his face as she walked away.
But when 10pm came. He wasn’t there. So she went for a walk thinking he was late. Twenty minutes later, still no sign of him. So she sent a cute text telling him it was ok he was late, and to text when he returned.
Dear readers, I want this to be a happily ever after. In which boy gets the girl. You know THAT GIRL. The one that he had wanted so very very much. But like every interesting story, this one has a plot twist.
The boy vanished. Not physically. Not literally. Just long enough to make the girl feel like a discarded tissue.
She, the one he been so in awe of.
The girl, he saw everyone coveted, but it was him she took a chance on.
The very same female he been the most intimate with that two people can get. Not because of the sex, but because of the feelings and hopes and dreams and real authentic thoughts they shared.
She wanted to go to the shop. To ask “Why?” At least, she wanted to go until she realized there was no answer that would ease what she felt. There was no “why” that could justify this suck ass behavior. It was baffling.
Because he was there in the shop. But suddenly no longer in her world. No word. No text. Just silence.
SHE had treated him with integrity. She had responded to what he had indicated he wanted. She had been kind, respectful, passionate, and authentic.
Apparently, he had not.
So she walked a different route thru town - not because she was ashamed or embarrassed. But because she realized that if she passed by and he said something, anything, to her, she might turn around and say exactly what she thought.
She preferred to speak kind words into the world. And her thoughts at this moment were anything but kind. Her thoughts had fire born of anger. Her words would scorch the earth if they were spoken aloud.
“You’re a coward.”
“You’re lower than low.”
“You no longer exist in my world. There is no space for someone who pretends to be someone they are not.”
She didn’t gaslight her feelings. It hurt, still hurts, will probably always twinge a little. She was open to feeling the whole range of emotions in this life. It’s what made her unique in some ways. She didn’t shy away from what is, or try to re-write what was. She just breathed and felt and allowed the whole world to see it on her face.
And yet she still smiled. Because life had a million moments that were joyful even though her feelings were hurt. Even though she was so pissed that someone dared treat her that way, that she was ready to call the power of the winds to carry this scourge away from her home.
No, it didn’t bruise her pride. She liked who she was and is. She felt proud of her bravery in being open and trusting and accepting. She loved that was true to herself, and didn’t play games. She even adored how she responded to who he CLAIMED to be, even though he was not that person.
It had taken her so long to get to the point where she felt free to be her, that she was going to be damned if he could take that from her. Black holes suck in everything that cross their path. But she was more powerful than his suckiness.
About a week later, she accidentally took the street his shop was on. It was a busy day, and she was on the other side of the street passing by before she even realized it. And for a moment, her feet wanted to turn, walk to the opposite sidewalk, rewind time to just before the kiss, look him in the eye and say:
“Don’t light that yet.”
But time - at least in this realm - only moves forward. And the girl walked on, head high, towards something real, and so much better than what had been.
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Tink, world traveler, positivity muse, and adult entertainer, has also freelance written for a number of companies as their ghostwriter. Now talking directly to YOU on this platform, she is also writing two books at her community's request.