The Dinner Party

I wish I could capture this moment in a painting. 

I’m at a friend’s home for a special dinner planned weeks ago. A simple gathering for us all to catch up after the rush of the holidays.

To my left is the best friend of the hosts, who are seated across from me. Always with a twinkle in his eye, we have engaged in many lively conversations about performing (he’s an accomplished drag entertainer), and living life while staying true to yourself. I always smile when I see him.

​My hosts are a dynamic couple whose 20+ year relationship is beautiful to witness, with each quip, glance, or casual touch, the husbands give one another. They have lived such interesting lives, and I enjoy hearing the stories they tell. I met them at a local coffee shop, and am grateful they included me into their group of vibrant friends. 

To my right, is another couple and then another woman - who happens to be the mother of the woman sitting next to me. The mother is a longtime friend of the hosts. A lovely woman I’ve enjoyed a few casual conversations with when I’ve run into her around town.

Her daughter, seated next to me, was one of the first friends I made after I moved to town on a whim. She’s a vivacious businesswoman whose integrity and authenticity in how she lives her professional life, and personal life, has been a source of inspiration to me. Plus she’s just fun to hangout with. We’ve bonded over a love of dance, life outlooks, and an appreciation for learning from our experiences. ​

Her partner, seated between her and her mother, is another creative arts businessperson. Smart and funny, he is also someone I count as a friend. He and I have shared many conversations on the most varied and random of topics.

I’m thankful to be seated here at this table with this fabulous crew of people. I’ve had such marvelous moments with each of them over the past two and half years.

​Cute puppies roam around the room, being so good and surprisingly not begging for food. At most they would love a quick scratch on their heads as they settle in near the festivities on a large puppy pillow. 

An orange kitty is perched in the living room on the edge of a cozy chair, staring out the window. Happy jazz music plays in the background. Candles lit, and soft lighting, cast a warm glow on the faces of my friends.

It’s a diverse group in ages ranging from 30s to 80s, ethnic backgrounds and origin nationalities, life paths, and sexual orientations. Our different experiences add flavor and texture to the conversation that hasn’t stopped flowing since we all arrived.

By the time I leave the gathering at nearly 1am, my face is hurting from smiling and laughing. Only moments before putting on my shoes, I wanted to freeze time. To make everything stop. Gather each of these people into a hug, and soak in their kind energy.

This is joy. This is peace. This is the epitome of LIVING.

Halfway through the incredible homemade meal, I had confessed that I would be leaving town. Moving to a place I hadn’t picked yet. Starting on a new adventure. 

Having just made the decision very recently, I almost didn’t want to say anything. Not to these people. Not when we were having such an incredible evening together. I didn’t want to change the mood of the evening. 

More importantly, I didn’t want to make ME the focus of the evening. It was much more fun to listen to everyone’s stories of random life shenanigans. To laugh and exclaim and let the wine (and water for me) keep flowing effortlessly.

But a moment came when the segue was natural, and I realized I couldn’t put it off any longer. I wanted to share what I knew of my next plans with these people that I loved. And I didn’t want to leave the party without them knowing that I wouldn’t be local by next month. 

The couple seated next to me already knew a little as they had seen my social media posts starting to sell off my things. But I think it was unexpected news to my hosts and the others.

For a moment, I saw surprise, and even some sadness, as I looked at the faces around the table. But one of the husbands quickly spoke up. He let me know that they loved me and were happy to see me do what was right for me.

We all spoke a bit more as I explained why I had abruptly come to the decision to leave. And the outpouring of love and support and the reminder that I always had beautiful connections here with them, made my heart feel warm in my chest.

As we meandered on to new topics and shared more funny life stories, I leaned back in my chair and looked around at these beautiful faces. I felt immense love for people who I hadn’t even known three short years ago. But since arriving here in New York, I  had shared wonderful times, and created a bond that made me feel rich in community.

I love my life. 

I love that I get the privilege of exploring places, and meeting fabulous people from all facets of humanity. I adore that the connections I create may be for a season, or for my entire journey. Either way, they add a vividness to my days on this planet, that rivals the textures of the most beautiful oil paintings in richness.

Often as I get ready to leave a city or state or country, people ask if I wish I could take my stuff with me. Generally all that I carry fills a suitcase or two, or in ultra decadence, a carful of things.

And they seem surprised when I laugh and say that letting go of stuff, is easy.

They aren’t asking the right question. 

Because what I wish I could carry with me on each chapter of my life, are the people. People such as these people. Who have added such a wealth of joy, its value couldn’t be calculated even if we tallied up the combined assets of billionaires.

I am blessed. 
I am blessed I am blessed I am blessed.

I am showered in gifts of memories and warm feelings and the knowledge that me, this funny little gypsy girl who flits in and out and about the planet, seems to be loved by such amazing friends. 

I hope they know how much I love them too.

Xoxo, 
Tink

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