Offbeat

​I never noticed it before. But then it hit me, suddenly, like a flash of awareness on this glorious day. Society has a uniform. No, that’s the wrong metaphor, or at least not quite the right fit - pun intended.

Society has a strict cadence - which extends somehow to it’s look and then bleeds into a specified momentum. A rhythm that pulls everyone into it’s vortex. Only…

Somehow, I never received the memo.

​It’s a gorgeous day. The kind that CALLS you to be outside, exist under blue skies and sunshine. Smile at the birds. And yet…

Today I’ve passed fem after virtually identical fem - perfectly blown out hair, heavy makeup applied to look “au natural”, fitted neutral colored tank top ending at the white flowing skirt, and always, a rather bored look on their face. Never animated. As though life is a drudgery which MUST be endured.

It feels like AI spat out a bunch of humanoid concepts on a premade background to a prompt of “show pretty girls shopping with friends” or “brunch date looks for girls #nottryingtoohard”.

But although the humans I see are softly and superficially appearing sophisticated and slowly drifting around, the world itself is not so refined. The world is messy, and it’s pulling me into it’s frivolous joy. And so, naively, I popped out of my flat WITHOUT the knowledge that I wasn’t supposed to THRILL in this gorgeous afternoon. 

The other girls are all wearing “the uniform”, but I, well, I am like that artsy kid on the fringe of everything cool but never quite there. Too far out to be uncool, but nowhere near the mark for who she was supposed to conform to being.

Ripped 90’s baggy jeans. Cut up T-shirt that I took my own scissors to one inspired morning (and it came out fabulous - ripped back, off shoulder, short but skimming the waistline). Bangles in various metals up one arm that announce my movements with a jaunty cheerful jingle as I swing my arms. Ebony hair, fuchsia highlights. And animated.

Always animated.

Today I’m a caricature of a girl who fell down the rabbit hole once. However, instead of her annoyance depicted in the books, I’m delighted by how this day is turning out. Even though I meandered far from my initial plans and destination.

A beautiful dress - with pockets! A delicate gold snake ring. And two library books have found their way to me - begging to be taken home. (Of course the non-library items were paid for by the debit card gods.)

Now I’m sitting - smiling, with ass planted on the park bench although still in motion with feet bouncing as though on little springs. Happily ensconced in the shade of this walking path, while the most ADORABLE two birds hop around my feet. 

Strike that. 
Three birds as the first two enticed a friend to come play as well. 

And yet I wonder to myself - as another posh monochromatic fem languishes by with false eyelashes fluttering so softly I almost missed the movement - I wonder HOW did I miss the memo that life was supposed to be …dull?!?!

Person after person trudges in front of me as I write. Practically an endless cycle of perfectly coiffed humans gliding listlessly at the same pace. All of them woefully unaware of the absolute enchantment of this day.

No meandering onto unplanned paths for them. 
No detours to smell the lilies bursting into life in a front sidewalk garden. 

No pausing to have not 1, not 2, but 3 shopkeepers weaving fairy combs in my hair in the establishment I found my little gold snake ring waiting for me. (And oh I will go back on another adventure for those lovely combs.)

No, absolutely none of those shenanigans for these in-tune with society humans. They are set into their marches through the afternoon, wearing the proscribed uniform, and stepping perfectly in tempo to a rhythm I can’t hear. 

Or perhaps once upon a time, I was in tune with society. Maybe I simply missed a step or two, or an entire stanza, and drifted off beat completely without noticing. 

And now I find myself trapped in a world of absolute loveliness and animation and delight, and oh goddess please…

May I never find society’s monotonous rhythm ever again.

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