Sorry not sorry

The author looking forward to a future when women no longer apologize for existing.

“I’m sorry. But can I make a reservation?”

I’m sitting on a train to Boston. The seats are wide and comfortable. For the most part, things are quiet, other than the occasional murmur of a conversation. 

A few stations ago, a group of young women got on the train. They were trying to sit near each other. I cleared the seat next to me for one of them, and went back to reading my book.

“I’m sorry to bother you but…”

It was her friend’s voice across the aisle that broke into my concentration. None of them were loud, but it was the “I’m sorry” that kept me re-reading the same paragraph.

In the space of a less than two minute conversation, the girl had said it SIX times. 

​In my head I was automatically re-writing the conversation. Willing the girl to stop apologizing for a reasonable request. There was nothing to be sorry about. She wasn’t disturbing the hostess on the call. She wasn’t rude when asking if they had space for six at the restaurant.

“I’m sorry…”

A few years ago, I began to notice how often I, and other women, apologized. The words “I’m sorry” flowed through our speech as though they were a required mandate. 

And it wasn’t just the frequency that grabbed my attention. It was the absurdity of the things that we all apologize for, that really became an irritant.  

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